Ayyam-I-Ha's celebrations have come to end and we have now entered the last month of the Baha'i Year, a month where one needs to reflect and meditate on the ending of this year and prepare one's self spiritually and physically for the beginning of the new year. And the last Baha'i month of the Baha'i calender, the month of 'Ala, helps us to do just that. It's the fasting month dear friends. And this year, even more than ever, I am so happy and ready to go on this spiritual journey with myself.
The fast fleeting days of Ayyam-I-Ha, those 'Days out of Time' was really just that for both me and Mona. It really put everything into perspectives for me!
It really showed me how important it is to just be happy and bring happiness to others.
Just like those 4 days went by so fast, so is our time here on earth, and what's the use of holding up grudges against each other, what's the use of being upset or staying upset with others, what's the point of being sad about what others do or don't do.... It all really doesn't matter... Why let some one's actions influence the way you feel...
It really doesn't matter who did me wrong or who hurt me or disappointed me, it doesn't matter if I loose or win, if I have a big house with all the materials things, it doesn't matter if I am rich or in debts, it doesn't matter if I am sick or healthy, it doesn't even matter if I am all alone in a foreign country.... but what really matters is how much I let all those material and fleeting things control my entire being or not...
No matter what the issues or problems are, the ultimate thing is, I can only depend on myself to be happy in life and need to make sure that I can do everything possible to make my daughter happy....
For so long I held someone else accountable for my happiness, but when that person left, I realised that I can be happy no matter what and no matter who is beside me, because it ultimately depends on me! Like 'Abdu'l-Baha said: "If you want to be happy, just be!"
And this is exactly what I have learned during those days out of time. During this Ayyam-I-Ha period, it didn't matter where we were, what party we went to, who were with us, or what we did. What really mattered was our attitude of love and sharing, of gifts giving, and of happiness.
So from now on, I am turning on the switch of happiness in my heart and will let it light up my whole being...
Like I wrote at the beginning of this Gregorian new year, I feel this is going to be a great year for me. And so far it's been a great one in so many different and unbelievably challenging ways....
I have grown so much and can say that I am a totally different person today than the person I was a few months ago... And I know that I still have a long long way to go, the journey is not finished yet, there is still a lot of growing up to do...
But you know what, it's amazing how much each little steps counts towards that bigger picture!
I am discovering myself and a whole new world of possibilities is slowly opening up itself before me... and as I find the strength and courage, that I wasn't even aware I had within me, I find myself becoming more and more independent and truly happy with the way my life is leading it's way...
I have found love and support from the most unexpected places and people. I have met new and fascinating people and was amazed at how much strangers (people who I don't know that well) and old friends and family members were right here with me, by my side, to help me along this learning path and reach out a loving and helping hand to help me and pull me out of this dark path into a brighter and happier one...
And today, after the first day of the fasting month, I feel so happy and deeply connected with my Creator. I feel a deep sense of happiness inside of my heart, that it is almost impossible for me to find the right words to describe it.... and it's only the first day of the fast!!!
I am so looking forward to the end of the fasting month, because I know deep inside something greater is awaiting me...
So my dear loved ones and new and old friends alike, thank you so much for being a part of my life and for accompanying me on this part of my earthly journey. You have no idea how much you all are contributing to my physical, emotional and spiritual growth.
And in a very near future, when those seeds starts sprouting and when all the growing is done, I hope there will be fields of pure beauty in me for all of you to see...
Lovingly,
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